Ways to know you are a Jamaican

1. You know what “Detol”  is
2. You like way too much hot sauce on your food.
3. You spend more than 4 minutes brushing your teeth.
4. When you open your front door it smells like cleaning products.
5. You refuse to have a pet dog but don’t mind having a pet cat.
6. You don’t like public displays of affection but don’t mind aggression in the bedroom.
7. Every Sunday morning you wake up early to clean your entire house until you become exhausted then you take a nap.
8. The only beer you will drink is Heineken or Guinness and nothing else
9. You think a woman has to have “meat on her bones” in order to be sexy
10. When you talk to your relatives back home you shout
11. when you talk about living back home in Jamaica you say ‘a yard’
12. You like your shoes to match your hat, and everything else in between
13. You use your Vaseline to lotion your face, moisturize your lips, and put on cuts
14. Carry face towels in their back pockets. Can stand with arms akimbo and still look cool! Wear "Ganzi's" under shirts. Call every Chinese person "Missa or Miss Chin" Don't drive Yankee cars.
15.  You go to the bathroom to TIDY.
16. When you eat too much, you feel Clyded.